“What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma,” by Stephanie Foo
(2022, 329 pages, Genre: Memoir)
Stephanie Foo is an award-winning radio writer, editor, and producer who spent years burying herself in her work to avoid dealing with her past traumas. Unfortunately, the day comes when she can’t hide in her work anymore and she must face the consequences of a diagnosis of Complex PTSD. The prognosis is not good, but Foo is determined to find some kind of therapy that will work for her. She notes that for those with her diagnosis, there is no one-size-fits-all cure. Each case is as individual as the patient.
In Part I—which is foreshadowed by a trigger warning at the beginning of the book—Foo shares the story of her cruelly abusive childhood. Severe physical and emotional abuse by her parents finally ends when both of them leave her living alone at the age of sixteen. Despite the obstacles, Foo graduates from high school and college with a dream of working for the radio program This American Life, a dream she achieves after establishing herself in the world of podcasts and radio. She even finds the love of her life. Everything is wonderful, until it isn’t. Because trauma sneaks up on you, undermines you, and makes it very hard to believe in yourself no matter how successful you look from the outside.
In the following four parts of the book, Foo chronicles the many therapies and professionals she tries, the connections she makes and renews, the difficult exploration of the past she thought she knew so completely. Supported by her partner, his family, and her found family of friends, as well as a no-nonsense therapist, Foo manages to find better ways to cope than lashing out at herself or others.
This is not a spoiler—on the same page as the trigger warning, Foo offers hope to her readers: This book has a happy ending.
I was impressed with the author’s courage both in her teens and as an adult, as well as her resourcefulness in finding ways to survive one of the bitterest betrayals a child can face. It’s not a scar that ever disappears, but Foo meets her future with grace, courage, and hope for tomorrow.
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Julia Miller
