For those of you who don’t know, my wife, Mary, is pregnant.
We’re really excited – and so is our 3 ½ year old daughter, Sophie – to welcome a new addition to the Goodwin clan. Our little bundle of joy is due next month – May 8 to be exact – but that’s just an educated guess. She’ll come whenever she’s good and ready. And yes, we’re having another girl.
So at this point, we’re not far from becoming a family of four – or seven if you count our cats. Mary just passed the 37-week point on Sunday, so she’s pretty far along.
As you can imagine, she was the main reason why I floated this issue idea out there, and when we picked to have it just a few weeks before the big day, I knew in some way, shape or form I was going to have to somehow get pregnant. Anything for a story, right?
For those of you who have been following the Insider for at least the last four years, I wore this thing called the Empathy Belly a few months before Sophie came along. It’s supposed to emulate full-term pregnancy, weighing about 35 pounds. They let husbands try it out during child birth class for a few minutes, doing simple tasks like tying your shoe, getting up from laying on the floor, and walking up some stairs. It’s along the same lines of what I had to do in June of 2014, for all of 20 minutes.
But since she is carrying our second child, while also dealing with our 3 ½-year-old, I felt it was only right to step things up on my end. So I wore the Empathy Belly for 24 hours – in a row – last week. I know 24 hours is nothing compared to nine months, but putting on that 35-pound belly (filled with water and metal weights, and complete with the upper part of the female torso) was a bit of a shock to this 37-year-old system. And in order to truly tell you how that faithful day went, I kept a running log so you could join me on this joyous journey, likely done by few men. And a big thanks to the folks at Concord Hospital for letting me borrow it.
Thursday morning, 6:30 a.m.
I woke up around 5:30 to shower and get the day going with a few chores. After Mary was up and ready, and before she left for work, she got me pregnant. (Insert funny joke here.) First came the rib restricting band, which is meant to squeeze the old ribcage a bit causing that shortness of breath I’ve heard about many a times. Then on went the Empathy Belly. It’s weird, it’s awkward – kind of like this story.
There were a few dishes in the sink, and I knew after a day of being pregnant, I wasn’t going to want to come home and do them later. And soon I realized I didn’t want to be doing them right then either.
7 a.m.
With Sophie still soundly sleeping, I decided to work on our lunches so when she did finally wake up, we could make a “quick” exit for school. The belly got in the way of cutting some vegetables. And when one of those slices of cucumber ended up on the floor bending down to get it was a bit different than what I’m used to. At least expecting moms get to add the weight over time. The same can be said about when I had to retrieve some ice packs from the bottom of our freezer drawer.
7:45 a.m.
In an effort to get as much done before Sophie got up, I decided to put my shoes on. Remembering it was not all that simple the last time I put on the Empathy Belly, I sat down to slip on the old New Balances. There was no way I was bending straight over to tie them, so I went with one leg crossed over the other to tie them. Not my best tying job ever, but more than adequate.
8 a.m.
Sophie finally decided to rise and shine and was quickly intrigued that Dada had grown a baby belly over night. I explained it was for work and that it wasn’t a real baby, and that it was filled with water and weights, which she proceeded to feel – much like she does with my wife’s pregnant belly any chance she gets. She called it her water baby and I don’t know if she was just so excited about it, but she was a super duper listener getting ready for school and we actually got out the door with relative ease, even though tasks like getting her dressed and brushing her hair came with a new set of challenges.
8:25 a.m.
Getting her in the car seat as she tried to feel her water baby again was a fun adventure, as was learning to drive with a new found 35 pounds to my mid-section. The belly sat right on my lap for the short drive to daycare, which was a preview of things to come for my daily commute. When we arrived, it took an extra effort to get out of my driver’s seat, and I was starting to realize just how simple daily tasks might be impacted by this belly. Were the seeds of doubt starting to seep in?
Sophie couldn’t wait to tell Miss Alice about daddy’s water baby and it was quite the conversation starter. I explained my idea and what I was doing, and was wished good luck. Sophie wanted to be picked up for a goodbye hug before leaving, which I begrudgingly obliged, as it felt like I was holding two, 3-year-olds.
9 a.m.
Of course, I didn’t plan ahead and needed gas before heading to Concord. Let’s just say there was a double take by a fellow gas pumper, but unfortunately no questions.
Once I hit fifth gear for my ride, the driving difficulties were no more, just the uncomfortable nature of having a huge belly strapped to my body. It doesn’t lend itself to leaning forward for mirror checks all too well, but I managed.
10:15 a.m.
I finally arrived at work, and collected my lunch box, camera bag and briefcase from the back seat. I was already tired for some reason, and was curious how this was going to look to those in the office. Only a few people knew I was embarking on this adventure, so the looks and comments were going to be interesting.
10:35 a.m.
Ad extraordinaire Candace Fitzgerald noticed right away and immediately had to touch the belly. She said that’s what people did to her during her two pregnancies, so it was only right to do the same.
I had to go touch base with some folks about some stuff, and before I even got over there I knew there was going to be a different topic dominating the discussion.
Steve Leone (who had the initial idea of me doing it for a week) got a couple quick laughs in. Then he and Sarah Pearson (Monitor features editor) proceeded to tell me about their experiences with “babies” during high school with Sarah’s being one of those fake crying babies that you watch for 48 hours. Steve’s was a sack of flour.
11 a.m.
All that walking around made me hungry, so my mid-afternoon trail mix snack turned into a late morning munch down. Hey, I was pregnant and could eat whatever and whenever I wanted.
I spent the next 45 minutes working on my Concord Birthing Center piece before a trip to the printer presented a new co-workers reaction – or lack there of.
Its as if I was regular old Tim as I talked to Caitlin Andrews, your Monitor Concord reporter. I kept waiting for her to say something, but our couple minute conversation ended without a funny look or off handed comment. Now I was starting to wonder just how chunky I look normally?
Noon
At this point, a few others had gotten word of it. I had also brought it up to a couple more folks in the building, and it became quite the wide-ranging talk. One asked if I had decided to sit down when I went to the bathroom, for the full effect. I had not, but promised to do so (which I did).
The early part of my afternoon was spent at my desk writing and putting pages together before a previously scheduled meeting reminder popped up on my phone. This should be interesting, I thought.
1:15 p.m.
The meeting was obviously derailed for the topic of the day with one person saying they couldn’t take me seriously. And that was good, because obviously if I’m wearing a pregnancy belly for an entire day, I don’t really either.
That meeting led to Monitor Publisher Heather McKernan getting word of my experiment and wanting to see for herself.
2 p.m.
By this point, more people had seen me and not said anything than brought it up, and Pearson reminded me that it’s not really polite to begin a new conversation with ‘Hey, did you gain a bunch of weight since the last time I saw you?’ Touche Sarah, touche.
Finally had a chance to eat my lunch, which was leftovers from the night before. Even though as I was eating it, I was thinking I should have ordered a Super Dominator for myself. I was fake pregnant after all.
I won’t bore you with all the details of my work load that day, only sitting for that long with that belly on was starting to put some strain on my back and legs. But don’t feel bad for me because I wasn’t really pregnant.
3 p.m.
Finally I got a look from courts reporter Alyssa Dandrea that basically said ‘There’s something different about you?’ So that quickly turned into a big discussion in that corner of the newsroom. That’s when Caitlin told me she didn’t want to say anything, but was more than curious to find out more, which I was more than obliged to share why I had decided to get pregnant for a day.
4 p.m.
At this point, the belly felt a little off-kilter, so Jon (the other person who writes for the Insider) gave me a quick adjustment by tightening all the straps. Much better because now my water baby was sitting right where she needed to be.
Now obviously I hadn’t done much on the physical side of things throughout the day, but even the most simple of tasks were increasingly harder. I was tired and ready for a little relaxing time and a way to shock a few people. So what better way then to head down to Lithermans Limited for a beer.
4:45 p.m.
Once we arrived (Jon came to take pictures) I checked with owners Michael Hauptly-Pierce and Steve Bradbury to make sure it was okay. Not sure what the laws are for serving a fake pregnant man, but the last thing I wanted to do was get them in trouble. Hauptly-Pierce’s response: “You’re the first pregnant man with a beard we’ve served a beer to.” Don’t you just love being a trend setter?
They told us about some new beers coming up (with a sample), and a few other things you’ll have to look out for in the future.
Now I got a few looks, understandably, especially when the camera came out and word quickly spread about what we were doing there. It led to a conversation with a nice gentlemen who remembered us from a previous trip to Beaver Meadow Golf Course, and a long talk about how great the Insider is. And that is something we never get tired of talking about.
5:15 p.m.
But at last we sat down in those comfy chairs when you first walk in with a Shadrach, the 10 percent triple IPA created for Lithermans second birthday. Don’t worry though, it was only a small pour and I sipped on it.
6 p.m.
It was time to make the hour-plus drive home to my actually pregnant wife and child. At this point, my back was a little tight and I was obviously tired, even though I hadn’t even hit the midway mark of my experiment. Luckily most of the remaining part would be spent sleeping – at least I thought so.
7:15 p.m.
I arrived home to a ‘How did it go?’ from Mary and a little rub of the water baby from Sophie. It was approaching bedtime, so I jumped into help with the routine of brushing teeth and reading stories. Sophie sure was happy to have another baby to snuggle up with while reading her favorite princess book.
At this point I’m thinking about how my wife does this every day, with an actual baby in her body, and ‘wow is she awesome.’
8 p.m.
With lights out and my two girls snuggling down for bed, I put on a pair of much-needed sweatpants and went to the kitchen in search of dinner. I could have gone the healthy route with a salad and whatnot, but this was my last meal as a pregnant man and I had to make it count. So I cooked up a batch of French fries and chipotle chicken spring rolls, to go along with a box of Cheez-Its, some Oreos and a popsicle. Now this was what made being pregnant worth it.
I sat down (uncomfortably) to watch game one of the Bruins-Maple Leafs playoff series and eat. I soon was overwhelmed with exhaustion and laid down on the couch. Next thing I knew, it was a few hours later.
11:10 p.m.
After sleeping for close to three hours in a precarious position, my back was really feeling it, and much like my wife does during the night, I had to get up to go to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and made my way to bed for what would hopefully be another seven hours of rest to use up the remaining portion of my 24 hours. Boy, was I wrong.
12:30 a.m.
I awoke after a dream that a friend of mine used an Empathy Belly to tell us he was having a baby. I also woke up with the thought that it was 6:30 and time for me to take off the belly. Not so much.
1:30 a.m.
Had the dream again that it was 6:30 and my 24 hours was up. This would be a recurring theme throughout the rest of the night. Not to mention the fact that no position was comfortable and rolling over (which I tend to do when I sleep) was not very easy.
3:15 and 4:30 a.m.
Woke up both times with the very same dream of it being 6:30. At this point, each passing wake up was making it harder and harder to fall back asleep. So I moved to the couch for a little SportsCenter and hopefully two more hours of sleep.
5:15 a.m.
Much to my chagrin, this pregnancy thing was going to get a couple last jabs in before my day was through. It’s almost as if it knew that my wife wakes up most nights with leg cramps and it gave me one just for the experience. The leg cramp in my calf was compounded by the fact I was exhausted and couldn’t get off the couch very well, I was done with trying to sleep. I was up for the day with a newfound respect for my wife – and all you others moms.
6 a.m.
With now having the smallest of glimpses into what life is like pregnant, I decided to be productive with my final half hour. I switched the laundry to the dryer, did the dishes from the night before and scooped the cat litter (something you’re not supposed to do if you’re actually pregnant). With the last few remaining minutes, I made Sophie’s lunch and got ready to give birth.
6:30 a.m.
I actually made it through. I always felt like I would, but there were definitely times I wanted to take that belly off for a little break.
I signed up for 24 hours though – much like my wife did for nine months – so I wasn’t going to cheat the process. But let’s just say, this is my last time being pregnant. At least let’s hope so.
