Dear Casper and Bill,
My wife and I recently moved to a new neighborhood, and we were invited to dinner with the couple next door. It was a very kind gesture, and they seemed like really nice people. But all night I sort of got the vibe that they were sizing us up. And a few days later while I was getting the mail, the husband casually invited me to a party. I said “Sure,” and he replied with a wink “Bring your wife – and your keys.” I think they may be into swinging. How do I let them know that we would love to be friends, but the kind of friends that keep their clothes on in each other's company? I don't want to have our brand-new neighbors hate us before we even get everything unpacked.
Dear Where Have You Been Couple,
Welcome to our neighborhood, you two cuties. We've all been watching you since you moved to our part of town. Have you been on another planet these past few years? Our little enclave has been doing the “Key Thing” for years. Haven't you seen all the neighbors with great big smiles on their faces – all the time?
We have daytime swapping key parties and we have cocktail time key parties. For the insomniacs we have special “ZZZZ parties,” from midnight till dawn. One of the most fun key-swapping events is the annual “Holiday Special Swap Everything” party; sort of like a Yankee swap shindig with the neighborhood having a ball switching and choosing a mate. What a blast! And just wait until the “OMG Halloween Costume Ball.” You will never be the same again.
So join all of us and put a ear-to-ear smile on your pretty faces, get out those keys and whoop it up, kids. And do join us for the holiday special swap when you will meet all your neighborhood elves.
Don't forget your keys!
