When you’ve been married for 60 years, sometimes you forget things – even something as big as your anniversary.
When one member of the union lets the important day slip his or her mind, it can turn into a real bad situation, but it’s not such a big deal when both parties are guilty of missing the joyous occasion. Welcome to the world of Tom and Elli Graham.
Despite the big milestone of 60 years of wedlock and a gathering planned for the following week, Oct. 11 just seemed to go by as any other day for the Grahams.
“We never even realized. We were busy all day and didn’t look at the calendar for any appointments,” Elli said.
It wasn’t until the next day when a friend at church apologized for missing their anniversary that they realized. They had woken up that Sunday morning thinking it was the 11th, said happy anniversary to each other and went off to church. When they learned it was the 12th, the Grahams enjoyed a good laugh. When you’ve been married for almost 22,000 days, things tend to slip through the cracks.
“That sounds like an eternity,” Elli said.
And while missing their actual anniversary date, the Grahams more than made up for it when they held a celebration on Oct. 19 at Makris Lobster and Steak House. That was where their 35 or so guests got a sneak peek at what Tom and Elli looked like on their wedding day a little over 60 years ago. No, they didn’t find the fountain of youth or travel the entire party back in time, which would have been quite a party favor, but rather decided it would be fun to put on their original clothes as a little surprise.
Elli’s old Victorian dress had been packed away for a long time, but it only took a few small alterations to get it to fit just right.
“I lost weight and thought ‘I wonder if I could fit into my dress,’ ” Elli said. “I had it packed up by a cleaner and it hadn’t yellowed at all.”
Tom’s suit was at the house of his son Bruce, who wore it for his wedding. The suit was in such great shape, with Bruce’s boutonnière in the collar, it didn’t even need to be dry cleaned.
“I said, ‘If you can fit in your suit I’ll get my dress fixed,’ ” Elli said.
So to the surprise of many guests, Tom and Elli strolled in wearing the same attire that wowed wedding goers at the United Baptist Church on Fayette Street back on Oct. 11, 1954. Elli even broke out their original guest book for people to sign.
“I thought the whole idea was wacko,” Tom said.
“He nicely went along with it,” Elli added.
But this isn’t the first time Tom and Elli have done something fun to celebrate their long marriage.
They renewed their vows for their 50th anniversary celebration at the former Centennial Senior Center on Regional Drive that is now the Concord Christian Academy, having all eight grandchildren serve as attendants.
“That was a big party. We had a lot of people there,” Elli said.
Two years ago, they rode an adult sized two-person tricycle to celebrate, complete with a big sign on the back declaring their 58 years of bliss.
Elli was born in Concord and has been here almost her entire life, and Tom moved to the N.H. capital when he was 5 (we assume with some adults). They met as teenagers, Elli was 16 and Tom 15, working part time at the hospital, and they’ve been together ever since. Elli, now 83, graduated from Concord High in 1949 and went on to Keene State, while Tom, who will be 82 next month, dropped out of Concord High and got his GED while serving in the Navy.
Both went on to become teachers and enjoyed long careers in the area. They’ve lived in the same house on Rte. 106 across from Steeplegate Mall for 50 years and raised four children in it, but as you probably know the mall wasn’t there when they moved in.
“We’ve seen a lot of changes in the area,” Elli said.
And the secret to a long successful union?
“We love each other,” Tom said.
“God has enabled us, helped us through the tough times,” Elli said.
And now with the 60th anniversary bash in the books, it’s on to planning for the next big milestone in what has been a long and happy marriage.
“We’ve got to figure out what to do for our 70th,” Tom said.
“I’m thinking ‘what else can we do that’s different?’ ” Elli said.
