Don’t you think Concord would be that much awesomer if it was home to a miniature golf course? We do, so we decided it would be a fun idea to think one up. Unfortunately, this is still little more than a well-conceived idea, since our quest for financing has thus far resulted in $17 in cash, a check for $3.84 and two boxes of Tagalong Girls Scout Cookies. But on the bright side, the cookies sure were delicious.
But instead of keeping this wonderful idea all to ourselves (as well as our minimal list of investors) we decided why not give our faithful readers a chance to see just how great we are?
Although, we have to be honest, this is only a snippet of what we came up with. We wouldn’t want to give all our ideas away and see construction begin next week on Putt-Putt of Concord.
So here’s what we’d include in Concord’s first official mini-golf course:
∎ Trained chipmunks who steal your ball at any time for a three-stroke penalty or a ransom of 10 peanuts (training method to be determined).
∎ A double loopdy-loop incorporated on every other hole. (We sure do love those things.)
∎ A maze of tiny golf pencils to navigate on hole 5.
∎ A jack-in-the-box inside hole 12 (super annoying music optional). Time it right or your hole-in-one could become a whole lot of frustration.
∎ Beer tastings on days that start with S, at holes that begin or end with 3 and 7, but only for those 21 years of age and older, of course.
∎ A simulated hurricane machine that can strike at any moment.
∎ A snow machine on hole 11, to make summer feel more like the other 10 months of the year.
∎ The pink flamingo gauntlet. Some will be fake, others real.
∎ A mini State House, complete with mini representatives engaged in mini political debates, to make up hole 1.
∎ A small pond on hole 16, just behind a launching ramp. Don’t hit it too hard, though, since there’s a cliff on the other side of the green. (It’s actually just a guy named Cliff. He’ll maintain the course).
∎ One of those big mouth things, but instead of a clown face, it will be our Monitor column mug shot. It’s twice the obstacle!
∎ Hole 18 will be fitted with a glass cover on top of the hole so you can never record your final score.
