As we’ve established in previous issues, the Sewalls Falls Bridge is so old and rickety that the city of Concord has established a 3-ton weight limit for the bridge. Here’s an updated list of things that could not cross the Sewalls Falls Bridge safely.
∎ 12 Wrestlemania III-era Andre the Giants
∎ 25 12-year-old Andre the Giants (back when he was too big for the school bus and had to get rides to school from playwright Samuel Beckett – true story!)
∎ 705 Academy Awards (in other words, don’t let the upcoming film Gravity by director Alfonso Cuaron cross that bridge next year)
∎ 125 bushels of delicious hand-picked fall-fresh apples
∎ 1 tyrannosaurus rex
∎ 2 blue whale hearts
∎ 6,000 pounds of feathers
∎ 6,000 pounds of gold
∎ 16 of the largest Komodo dragons ever recorded
∎ 2,000 Sal’s pizzas
∎ 41 Floyd Mayweathers
∎ 2,000 Mr. Peebles (the world’s smallest cat!)
∎ 14 Insider staffs
