Dear Elders, My husband can never leave work at work. I can’t even have a conversation with him without it somehow ending back up at work talk.
How can I get him to focus on what truly matters . . . me!
– Neglected
Roioli Schweiker
Dear Neglected,
Maybe it depends on how good a raconteur he is. My husband worked on many very interesting projects, and I really enjoyed hearing about them. Sometimes I might have even made helpful suggestions. At least we never lacked for dinnertime conversations.
One project was a survey of “What makes a good teacher” with extensive interviews with teachers, principals, students, parents and professional education specialists, for the purpose of providing a standard for implementing merit pay for “good” teachers.
His group had not designed the survey but merely received the answers to analyze. After much study, the unanimous decision was that from this data, it was impossible to define a “good” teacher.
Jan Stickler
Dear Neglected,
I’m afraid there is not enough space allotted to us to answer your question. It appears to be one of those “layered” questions. Perhaps you should direct it to a clergyman, therapist or trusted adviser. They would be much better suited to address your problems.
Bill Twibill
Dear Overlooked,
Let’s talk Victoria’s Secret or the Thorne’s shop in town. It seems to me that when the heat cools down, it is time to bring out all the fireworks.
First idea: Book a weekend honeymooney package at a Seacoast resort. Bring plenty of champagne and lots of candles. Too expensive? Maybe your workaholic hubby can write it off as a “business expense.”
Second idea: Keep a few catalogs of the above mentioned stores around your house, opened, of course. Then, go with him to the stores and both of you shop quietly for something “unusual,” then go home and surprise each other.
Third idea: Have him fired. That’s right. Have him fired. Well, maybe not with the current economy, but it would have been a good idea a few years ago. Check out the famous romance expert Dr. Ruth and her book, “Revving Up the Romance and Passion.” If that fails, then you go right ahead and have him fired for illegal expense account charges from that Seacoast adventure.
Steve Leavenworth
Dear Neglected,
Try this: Have his favorite dinner on the stove, candles on the table, you know the drill. Ditch the kids at a friend’s house for the night. Greet him at the door in a transparent negligee, telling him dinner will be ready in about an hour. If he doesn’t respond the way you are planning, see a lawyer and ditch him.
Casper Kranenburg
Dear Neglected,
Too bad you did not tell us what kind of work your husband is in, as some professions are more appropriate to talk about at home than others. Think undertaker or male stripper and you get the picture. Rather than getting all steamed up about these one-way conversations, find something you have in common (plan a vacation for the two of you around one of his business trips, for instance) and steer the conversation that way – the warm beaches, the luxurious hotels, the fancy food you’ll enjoy. He will get annoyed very soon and retreat to the bedroom – now isn’t that what you wanted in the first place?
