The Opinionator (moi) is no stranger to pulging personal details. Over the past two years, I've shared the problems inherent in being a newly dating couple around Valentine's Day and forced the same boyfriend (Ed, now my husband) to carve a turkey for a Thanksgiving cooking attempt and made him pose for the feature photo. In that vein, I write about my first Christmas as a married woman.
Before Ed and I even tied the knot in July, we agreed on a plan for managing family gatherings around the holidays. We'd both heard horror stories of friends traveling to two or even three homes in one day and eating a sickening amount of turkey and pie. Needless to say, we weren't eager to follow in their footsteps.
We decided that we would alternate each year. This year, we would spend Thanksgiving with my family, Christmas with his family and Easter with mine. We'll do the opposite next year. And because we needed to arrange gift-giving with my family, we've also thrown Christmas Eve into the mix.
With that issue resolved, I could enjoy the holidays stress-free. Well, sort of. I must have been zoning off or something at the time, but there was evidently a clause in our wedding vows that stated I was responsible for gift buying, wrapping and decorating. I guess that's no so bad – as a couple we can buy one gift together, rather than both of us buying gifts for all the family members – but there's also some stress involved, particularly when it comes to my now mother-in-law.
Since I married her first and only son, I will probably never know whether she actually likes me or just tolerates my presence. I'm okay with that ambiguity, but I didn't want to encourage the latter by giving a lousy gift. When Ed told me he usually expects his mom – who is pretty content with what she has in life – to not really use the gift he purchases, I accepted this as a personal challenge.
I went with L.L. Bean slippers (cute ones, by the way) that I hope will be a success. I mean, they don't quite say, “I think you did a great job raising your son! He takes out the trash without complaining! Please don't hate me!” but it's close enough. Even if she doesn't like them, I hope to get points for choosing a good brand. She's a farmer's daughter – surely she will appreciate L.L. Bean's generous guarantee.
As for the wrapping, it isn't my favorite thing to do, but since my husband called me at work to say, “Do not, under any circumstances, look at the bottom of the gifts I just wrapped for you. Or the sides,” I think it's really better I take that job. Until there's a ridiculous pile of toys to wrap, I can handle it without losing too much Christmas spirit in the process.
Right after Thanksgiving, I started to get excited about decorating for Christmas. Our apartment is the first place I've gotten to add my own touches to – I've always lived with roommates who had established themselves first. Given the space constraints, though, we reused the tabletop Christmas tree from last year. I got a few more ornaments for it that are woefully out of proportion for a 2-foot tree, but oh-so-adorable. Who cares if the branches barely support the weight? I also invested in a Christmas-themed candy bowl – it's now sitting empty thanks to my snacking hubby – as well as a pre-lit garland.
I had high hopes for that garland. My mom has a nice one she hangs on the mantle, and I hoped to steal the look for our Venetian blinds. I enlisted Ed's help, and one roll of packing tape, a stepstool, thumbtacks, three nails and a hammer later, we managed to get it to stay in place. It was a little lopsided, but as Ed managed to get through this ordeal without swearing, I opted not to test his patience.
Two days later, one side fell unceremoniously to the floor. I gritted my teeth and said I would try again next year when we had a house. It would take a lot more hammering to get it to stay, and it just wasn't worth losing the security deposit over. Anyway, I'm was more or less content with the empty candy bowl and mini-tree.
While this Christmas didn't go entirely to plan (excuse me while I curse the garland again), I still wouldn't change anything.
That joint checking account thing was definitely helpful for buying gifts – I didn't have to be quite so miserly. (Allow me to remind you that I work for a newspaper.) Plus, I'm married to the best guy on the planet – not that I'm biased – and I have lots of family, old and new, to celebrate with this year. What could be better than that?
