Gift ideas. Gift ideas? The worst. Worrying about what to get who and how much to spend: a giant no thank-you to all of it. I have spent countless hours poring through Buzzfeed, Huffington Post and Amazon’s Top 10 Gift Guides. Guides for men, women, children, gender-neutral, aging parent, swim teachers. I’m talking every guide there is, and very few times did something spark an immediate “I have to buy this” reaction. Although I did purchase some gifts this year for family and friends, I purchased as many experiences as possible. I know that sounds super trendy, and maybe it is, but at this point in my life all I want is to make memories with people I care about (and no, this isn’t a plotline from a Hallmark movie).
During this holiday season I am stressed, I think everyone is stressed. Rushing around from event to event and not taking a hot second to slow down. The go-go-go mentality this time of year can be all-consuming. When asked what I want for Christmas from my family and friends, I said “nothing but your time.” The knee-jerk reaction is “What do you mean? Everyone wants something!” Of course, people refute and try to think of something to purchase for me, but the honest truth is, I do not need anything. I know it might seem crazy, but it is really what I want.
I put my holiday gift request to the test. Case in point: I asked my friend to take a day (any day) to catch up this year for Christmas in lieu of gift exchange. This friend said they couldn’t possibly take any time off from work to spend the day together because they couldn’t afford it. I asked this friend (who I normally exchange gifts with) what they were planning on getting me for Christmas. She said a Lululemon hoodie and to take me out to dinner. While I was extremely thankful for her generous gift idea, I was sad about the lack of quality time we would have had. Upon further conversation, we discovered that she would have actually spent more money purchasing me a gift and bringing me to dinner than if she took the unpaid day off of work (this may be true of a lot of people). The good news is that we selected a day after Christmas and plan on watching a movie, making lunch at my house and a few craft things we’ve been meaning to do all year bonus: she gets a day off from work). Total cost = less than $35. The moral of the story is, although time sometimes does equate to money, it might not always be as impossible as you think.
When thinking about what to purchase for someone don’t necessarily think of something grandiose. Think thoughtful, repurposed, meaningful. Case in point: I write a post-it note in my children’s lunch box with a message, inspirational quote or something funny (or at least I think it’s funny) for them to read at lunch (I’d be lying if I say I do it every day, but more times than not). I assumed that the notes got thrown away at lunch. Apparently, my daughter had been saving them all along.
On Christmas Eve when she “went to sleep”, she took all of the post-its and taped them to the backside of her bedroom door and wrote a letter from Santa to me talking about the importance of the post-its to her. She brought me into her room Christmas morning shut the door and showed me. Some of the post-its were crinkled, some of them had been folded in quarters, and some of them had oil stains from salad dressing. It didn’t matter. They were all there on tiny 4-inch by 4-inch squares with messages I had only hoped she would read. I was so touched, I nearly cried. Ok, I actually cried. Total cost = a pack of post-its and less than one roll of tape. Moral of the story: You never know the impact you have on your kids (so even when they test your patience, keep trying).
No matter what holiday(s) you celebrate, please take a minute to stop, breathe, look around you and spend some quality time with someone you care about or even better a complete stranger. Time is our most precious commodity and giving of it feels good and makes the other person feel good and create memories that don’t end up in a landfill.
