It became quite apparent when I looked around at the other contestants of the Midnight Merriment beard contest that I was out of my league.
But it’s not like I didn’t expect that to be my fate. Let’s face it – my beard growing skills aren’t exactly top notch, if you hadn’t noticed.
I usually just let it grow out without any shaping or care to speak of. Deep down, I desperately want to grow a sick beard.
But right now, after about a year of letting it grow (with some minor trims), my beard is probably as good as it’s going to get. So why not flaunt it off in a competition that I have no chance of winning. Anything for a story, right?
Judging by the pictures from last year, there was a good chance that the competition would be tough to beat. And boy was I right.
Not only were there some pretty impressive beards that would have put me out of the running on their own merit, some of these guys really went all out.
There were lights and ornaments in some beards, while others were wearing Santa hats and holiday sweaters.
We each got called up one by one to flaunt our facial hair for the panel of judges, made up of some pretty important people in the Concord hair world.
So without any flash or glitz, I did what I thought was best. I talked about my beard, what I thought of it and in the spirit of showmanship, I ran my fingers through it as the judges looked on. Turns out though, it wasn’t very helpful.
My initial thoughts were a dark reality when I didn’t win. That’s okay, because on the bright side I didn’t come in last – and I’m not even talking about the couple guys who signed up and didn’t show.
The judging was on a scale of one to four in four categories: length, fullness, style and creativity, and general manliness.
I received three eights, one six and a five for a grand total of 35. Out of 13 contestants, I finished 11th, but well off the winning pace of Ryan Smith, who captured the title for a second year in a row with a score of 76.
But it wasn’t easy, as a total of three points separated first through fifth place.
So if I’m going to have any chance of winning this thing next year, I’ve got to step up my beard game.
