So we had this grand plan.
We were going to bake our own gingerbread, whip up our own frosting and create snowmen, Santas, trees and wreaths from scratch using whatever tasty treats we could put together. But like many things we do at the Insider, things didn’t quite go as we had hoped.
The gingerbread failed miserably, the frosting had its own issues and we kind of just abandoned the whole creating holiday cheer out of fear of further failure.
But we still had a gingerbread house to make. We had already sent in our entry form for the annual Presidential Oaks Gingerbread House Competition and we couldn’t back out. Just think of the public shaming. It would be like that time Jon didn’t finish the Taco Gigante.
So we did what you and anyone else probably would – we bought a kit. Yep for just shy of $8, we got a village set up complete with five little structures, a tube of frosting and some candy for decorating. We also bought some extra candy, frosting and those little trees, snowmen and gingerbread people made out of pressed sugar that you see so well placed around Insider Land.
Yes folks, if we lived in a world made out of gingerbread and money was no object our work area would be bigger then a pod that features two and a half walls made out of cubicle dividers next to a row of small windows we can’t look out and a book shelf filled with random stuff that we never use.
So we figured why not live vicariously through gingerbread. You’ll see that instead of two desks in a small office area, we expanded to have a news compound that would rival any in the gingerbread world.
If you don’t remember, we got a little tutorial last year from Sue Chandler of Chandler’s Cake and Candy Supplies so I’m pretty much a pro. But Jon wasn’t a part of that so he had to rely on the gingerbread creative skills he learned as a youngin.
Using the tube of royal icing provided, we started the construction process. Since each building was a little different, it wasn’t a cookie cutter, one size fits all kind of approach. We quickly learned that patience was important cause if you didn’t let the icing harden before the next step some bad things would start happening.
But as you can see, we got the hang of it. Once we got the building put together, the decorating part was what really made this thing as magical as you see.
The biggest house looking one in the back is our main headquarters. It’s where our fake secretary would answer the phone for us, where we would house our desks and computers, old newspapers and finished projects from years of trying just about anything people ask us to. It’s where we’d conduct interviews, along with our autograph station for the pile of column photos our fans keep asking for.
The Insider would be printed in the building with the flat roof cause it’s the only one that could fit a fake printing press. We’ve got to be somewhat realistic.
The one that has a roof that looks way to big (and is the closest to our office) is where our personal chef would cook all of our breakfast and lunch requests that would mostly consist of replicating gas station hot dogs and gourmet chicken tenders – lots of chicken tenders.
In the front right is the photo lab, where we process all those great pictures we take every day. Don’t let anyone tell you that the art of fake photography is dead.
And the triangle looking building is just where we go to take naps. (Also note its proximity to our home base.) With this kind of creativity flowing through our heads day in and day out we need time to rest. Brilliance doesn’t just happen people.
Now you might be wondering how we fared in the whole competition side of things. While we don’t like to brag, we can say with great pride that we didn’t come in last. That’s right, we took fourth place, one spot out of the money, out of the five that entered the adult side of the competition.
For a couple guys who were just kind of winging it on the final day to enter our submission, we have to say it came out pretty good. Some people spent weeks on their entries, but we’re journalists: we live for deadline pressure.
And if you’re curious, yes, we plan on entering again next year. Just wait and see what we come up with.
