We bid Concord’s closing Blockbuster adieu

If Jamie Kennedy ever really got lost in Armenia, would it be okay if we just didn’t find him?

This isn’t a reference to the recent Bearcat controversy and the Concord police. Right?

This film is obviously based on our neighbor, who wears Crocs – and little else – 365 days a year.

Sweep the tail, Johnny! With this much action, there’s no need to hit the paws button on this film.

The more important question is, will a man watch ‘Will a Man Rob God?’ That’s rhetorical.

Given the rogue W at the end of the name, this must be the progeny of Rambo and Rainbow Bright.

Here we have Taylor Lautner shockingly starring in a film featuring an ab reference in the title. Rejected names included ‘Six Pack of Problems’ and ‘Things Are Looking Oblique.’

We have to assume this film is based on the time that Gary Busey actually thought he was a gingerbread man. Bonus points to the production staff for getting Busey to pose for the cover, though.

What happens when the writers fall asleep on the keyboard while naming a film? You wind up with Zyzzyx Road! Don’t miss the eagerly awaited follow-up, Frpclsdt Boulevard.

Based on the title, we’re assuming this is a documentary compiling the opinions of dozens of music and film critics on the career of Miley Cyrus. Featuring Demi Moore as the bearskin rug!

This is how we imagine all our fan letters from the city are signed. But seriously, shouldn’t a movie with this title win dozens of Academy Awards? Or at least a few Cappies?