Dear Casper and Bill,
I recently cheated on my girlfriend of three years. I was very drunk at a party and kissed another girl. The other girl means nothing to me. (I'm not even sure of her name, as awful as that sounds.) I'm regretful but haven't told her yet what happened. Should I come clean and risk losing her or keep my mouth shut?
Dear Lover Boy,
Oh how many times have we all heard that routine before: “Boy, was I drunk last night. I don't remember this or that.”
Since your girlfriend was not with you at the time, maybe she was on the prowl looking for a bit of whoopee herself. You're not engaged . . . just boyfriend / girlfriend for three year . . . made any plans for your future? Since women are always more perceptive about these matters, she probably already senses that you messed around. And since you feel guilty, it most likely shows. Let this be a lesson to you. We suggest you zip your mouth and your zipper and get on with your relationship and make some plans for your future before you have another opened-zipper guilt trip.
Dear Casper and Bill,
I have a problem. My girlfriend has a really attractive male coworker and I'm insanely jealous of him. I know they're just friends, but every time she talks about him, it bothers me. I'm not an insecure person, but for some reason this is really getting to me. Is it best to tell her about how I feel and risk coming off like a jealous jerk, or should I grow up and muscle through it?
Dear Number Two,
Really attractive male? Insanely jealous of him? They're just friends? This all bothers you and you claim not to be an insecure person?
Who are you kidding? No wonder your little beauty always talks about him: He is everything you are not! Sorry, Lancelot, but Mr. Handsome and Charming is winning over your little Snow White. We, as undocumented but learned psychologists, detect a hidden interest which you are not telling us about. Hmmmmm. . . . Oops, time is up, that will be $200 please.
