Oh, fair-haired hottie of morning TV,
there was no other I loved so true.
I watched you hunger for Miss Kapowski
from the Bayside days up until Cal U.
If we shared the halls, you’d give her the ax.
and call me up on your oversized cell.
We’d make plans to skip class for shakes at The Max.
It’d all be alright, ‘cuz we’re saved by the bell.
Alas, you no longer hang with Screech and Slater
but are instead trying your hand at Mark-Paul.
Will there be a man whom I adore greater
than the stud who often missed roll call?
If I could yell “Time Out!” I’d find a way for us
and wouldn’t need reruns to see Zack Morris.
