Dear Elders, One of my friends isn’t the best dresser. I want her to look great, but how do I approach this without hurting her feelings?
Signed,
Good intentions
Steve Leavenworth
Dear Good Intentions:
It’s really her business and it’s not much of a “guy” subject. I think a young woman in her 20s should have observed enough fashion ads and seen enough on the subject to have learned. I note as I walk in the mall that many have not learned but I stay out of it because I’m three to four generations behind. If some of you young ones saw what my high school classmates were doing and wearing in “our day,” you wouldn’t believe it.
Bill Twibill
Dear Fashion Plate:
How would my good friend Abby handle this? Let me get into Dear Abby’s head for this one. Why don’t you take your friend on a shopping spree or, for more fun, to a consignment shop or Goodwill store – all available in Concord with plenty of goodies to choose from and great prices. The two of you can have a fun time while improving her sense of style. Compliment her on all her choices that you think make her more attractive. If that doesn’t work, then it is time to call a spade a spade, share a glass of wine or two and tell her she looks like a heap of old potato sacks (that’s my input, not Abby’s). Finish off the wine and go on that shopping spree.
Roioli Schweiker
Dear Good Intentions:
At a time when people will be changing their wardrobe such as the spring, fall or holiday season, tell your friend you are going to the stores to look at new clothes. Invite her along and make a day or evening of it. Include a meal, or at least a snack.
I assume you know her finances and can pick suitable stores. Select some clothes for yourself to try on, and “run across” something that would look good on her. Talk about accessories and/or jewelry, perhaps something she already has. “Wouldn’t this look great with your pink necklace.” If you have time, perhaps drop by any other likely place.
If this is fun, maybe you can do it again!
Casper Kranenburg
Dear Well-Intended:
Too bad you don’t say if you are a male or a female trying to improve the way your friend dresses – this makes a difference. As I assume your intentions are legitimate and you don’t want your friend to be dressed as if she is in a Fellini-inspired Italian fashion show, I suggest you take her on an afternoon shopping trip to one of the many fine stores here in Concord. And as an early or belated birthday gift, you could buy her something that looks good on her. Before you know it, she will be the best-dressed girl in town (after you of course).
Jan Stickler
Dear Good Intentions:
Take a deep breath, back up three steps and forget the whole idea. To quote the Rev. Lloyd Strom, “A good intention is like the seed of a tree whose fruit we do not know.”
You do not know how your friend will react to your “help.” Maybe she is happy with the way she dresses. Maybe your sense of fashion is skewed. Do you want her to look great for her sake or for your sake? Is it really any of your business?
I think I’d find another cause.
